Why the Steelers Have Already Lost (Even If They Win)

Every good story has generally 3 things: a protagonist (the good guy), an antagonist (the bad guy) and a plot line in which these two encounter each other. And just as these stories unfold in books and movies, they tend to crossover into the world of sports as well. And in Super Bowl XLV (which kicks off in, oh, about 3 hours) there is a clear-cut good guy and bad guy. A clear cut winner and loser. And no matter what the outcome of the game is: the Steelers have already lost.

As a Vikings fan, it pains me to say that the Green Bay Packers are the good guys in this year’s Super Bowl. However, the story is not necessarily how they have become the good guys (15 guys on IR, good Mid-western attitudes and a quarterback that doesn’t rape co-ed’s in a bathroom stall). But more about how the nearly-always-neutral national fan base has nearly unanimously turned its back on the Pittsburgh Steelers. The fact that Roger Goodell has talked to Steelers players more often than his own family is a prime reason for this. Big Ben, James Harrison, Hines Ward, and Troy Polamalu, have all been in the news (and at least this year, not necessarily because they really are great players).

The bottom line is this: If the Steelers win, it’s because they are rotten and cheap, or that’s what people will say. If they lose, they will have deserved it, because they are rotten and cheap, or that’s what people will say. Now that the roles of good and bad have been clearly defined, we now await their battle.

Now (regrettably) hand me my cheesehead.

It’s that much closer to kickoff.


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